Associated Content Producers Spotlight

Personally, I always thought that going on-line was a safe thing to do; just chatting away with kind folks and so on. But last week it resembled the Wild West and thereI was sitting in front of the pc with a lasso in my hands. Not quite knowing what to do with it; I’m a Townie at heart and the closest I ever come to a cow is buying milk from the supermarket.

But all is well again and my mind, at least has turned to some other interesting subjects.

Chris Carmichael is absolutely fascinated by all those severed feet that seem to be appearing everywhere. The investigating reporters among us are thinking up all sorts of scenarios as to how and why. And leaving the (real) police-detectives scratching their heads and looking downright embarrassed. Because, why didn’t they think of all that?

And Abby Johns is going to give birth to a panda. I truly hope that it’s going to be the smaller variety or else she might be in trouble. But Abby says it’s okay; she’s growing bamboo in her backyard to feed the bubba. And of course when you birth a panda, there won’t be any trouble raising it. No future school fees to think about and they’ll never talk back to you. And come neatly packaged in black and white fur with big cute black panda-eyes. The only problem might be that they climb trees and won’t come out.

Sophia Sanchez loves nature, but not all of its creatures. Everybody is covered in ticks at her place, including the kids. But I have the right solution Sophia: just concrete the whole place over and get some potted trees. It’s a great idea, because you’ll have a lot of parking space as well.

And CJ Mathis caused a small uproar with her Trojan mini-vibrator this week. AC is divided in two camps now: the people who can’t live with it and the people who can’t live without it. After hitting the Publish button CJ decided to post a thread about the sensitive subject and see who would be ending up blushing.

So far only 1 guy did, but surely he must have misread the thread and was confused in thinking it was the picture of the “bare behind” we were talking about. Admittedly it was an ugly one, and hopefully we won’t see any of those anymore, real ones or not so real ones.

Well, that’s me for this week! Be nice to each other! Mary-Jane

Popularity: 4% [?]

When Kelly asked me to be a contributor here, there seemed to be some expectation that I would facilely serve up the humor like so much cold hors d’oeuvres. An expectation nerve-wrackingly reinforced by her hyperbolic introduction of me as “the funniest man on AC.” As if I’m some sort of trained seal who can just stick a flipper down my throat and puke bons mots. I’m not an amusement-vomiting seal machine that can be turned on with the flick of a switch, dammit.

But I don’t like to disappoint. Not a Kelly, at least. So here’s my cop-out – er, solution. For my first trick, I will provide humor while simultaneously furthering our mistress’ promotional cause. Here’s my own spotlight of CP Will Wright, a man to whom I’m tempted to refer as my favorite AC humorist, though I’m generally hesitant to label favorites.

Yes, I’m posting links to a dozen pieces of content. Excessive? Perhaps. The dude’s got over 200, though, so cut me some slack. Spend half an hour or so reading them all, I promise, it’s laugh-inducing time well-spent. If you have to come back later for some, so be it. These are the funniest of the funny. I don’t mean to imply that his other content’s no good; Will has plenty of interesting, useful, and helpful non-funny articles posted too. But E cares not for interesting, useful, or helpful things. Read, readers, read. And enjoy.

Marriage and the Elimination of Manhood, Part I

Marriage and the Elimination of Manhood, Part II

Delaware: The Most Expendable State in the Union?

Stupid Movie Trends: Movies Inspired by Breakfast Cereals

McDonalds Employee Fired for Being Competent

Confessions of a Stay at Home Dad

Nice Things People Say when They Don’t Like Your Writing

Are You an Evil Genius? A How To Career Guide

Trouble in Spongebob Squarepants 2008 Presidential Campaign

AC Writters Strike: Who Needs Righters?

Truck Driving School for the Blind Overcomes Adversity to Graduate First Class

How to Craft Generic Self-Help Articles for Fun and Profit

Popularity: 5% [?]

With no announcement or warning, Associated Content started compensating their contributors for articles distributed via their web site partnership arrangements. We don’t have any official word so the following is early-observation conjecture.

Background
First, you have to know when submitting an article to AC, the author has several choices, one of which is “Distribution: Would you like to make this content eligible for distribution with approved AC partners?” This selection is only available under a couple of conditions:

1. The article must NOT be previously published.
2. If submitted as “Exclusive,” it is automatically eligible for Distribution consideration.
3. If submitted as “Non-Exclusive,” you have a choice in Distribution consideration.

Keep in mind, even non-exclusive submission are going to experience a publishing delay as a content manager must review them.

Distribution Payments
AC has been trying for a long time to figure out a decent way to compensate their contributors for articles sold to other sites. Since it is virtually impossible to track the amount of traffic these articles receive on the partner sites, it looks like AC has fallen back on a simple one-time payment for such articles. Reportedly, it is a $2.00 flat payment. At least, that is what the early returns are showing.

At this point, we don’t know if the payments may vary by partner or if AC is marching forward on some sort of traffic-based compensation from the partners. There has been no official announcement from AC about this new policy. Were all just guessing and hoping. The good news is, AC seems dedicated to finding new ways to fairly compensate their authors.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Hungry much? I know I am and apparently we have almost as many talented chefs on Associated Content as we have writers. check out these recipe ideas.

Quick Holiday Potluck Recipes – These easy recipes will have you in and out of the kitchen quickly. One of these delicious dishes will be perfect when you are in a pinch, whether you need an appetizer or a dessert. Each recipe will be ready in 30 minutes or less.

Summer Sizzler: Break the Ice with These Summer Beverages -Summer is here and it’s time to entertain. Impress your guests with these new and improved ideas for serving up fun in a glass. This can be tried all year round. Your guests will be asking you again and again to bring out the ice.

Fourth of July Desserts and Treats – What quick and easy Fourth of July desserts and treats can you offer at your Independence Day barbecue, picnic or potluck? Here are a few of our favorite quick and easy Fourth of July recipes, sure to make guests march to the picnic table for heaping helpings.

How to Make a Really Good Cold Jalapeno and Cheddar Dip -Making a really good jalapeno and cheddar dip at home is a simple and easy task. It will be very easy for you to create your own family tradition from the basic example listed.

Two Special Potato Recipes to Enhance Any Meal -Two other delicious tasty ways to prepare potatoes are the classic Scalloped Potatoes and Potatoes Au Gratin. This can add a special touch for any meal any time of the years, and is even especially great for holiday meals.

Piper’s Perfect Pizza – An easy, step-by-step instruction on making your own, delicious, healthy homemade pies.

Popularity: 4% [?]

As of yet there is no official airing date but as soon as there’s news I’ll post an update.

We recently had another content producer let us that she was picked up by the Huffington Post. I can’t find the post or remember who it was at the moment so look for a post about it soon. It just goes to show that you never know who is logging in to AC and reading your work.

Popularity: 1% [?]

How many times you tried to inflate an air mattress with a hair dryer? I confess, I have done it many times. I wish I’d had a Coleman Electric Quick Pump. Steve Helmer gives a great review of this handy gadget.

I’ve never had to repair the heating element on my stove but if I ever do I’ll be looking to Kimberly Ray’s article on How To Fix the Heating Element on an Electric Range.

When I think of electric guitars I think of Eddie Van Halen or Jimmy Hendrix. I wouldn’t have the first clue how to play one let alone buy one without some guidance. Content Producer Timothy Sexton shows the way in his article What to Look for When Buying Your First Electric Bass Guitar.

Stay safe this summer by following Emma S.’s Summer Electrical Safety Tips. She gives great advice on what to do if a power line falls on your car, you come across someone struck by lightning and hazardous flooding conditions.

Reasons To Use an Electric Fireplace
What You Need to Know About Electrical Safety and First Aid at Home.

Shayne Dayton presents an interesting point of view about the impact global warming is having on the development of hybrid cars and brings up the idea that Porsche was Electric 100 Years Ago; So Why Not Now?

You won’t feel the same way about your toothbrush again after you check out the Dr. Fresh Electric Toothbrush Review by Lisa Riggs.

Popularity: 33% [?]